You shouldn’t have to exist in a workplace where men make comments on your body and the clothes you wear. You should be able to show up, and work confidently without your own peers and leaders being concerned with who you’re dating and who you may or may not have slept with in the past. You deserve to be in an environment that supports a simple platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex, and your immediate supervisor won’t spread slanderous allegations while making a joke out of your dignity. Then that same supervisor shouldn’t obsess over you, even a year later. You don’t deserve to be dragged through the dirt in work group chats that you were intentionally left out of, or to have your picture taken without your knowledge and sent to others—so they can mock you too.

You don’t deserve to work in an environment and be told that women don’t belong there or “men are only nice to you because they want to f*ck you”? Also, you shouldn’t have your own peers show other men a picture of you because they wanted to see if you’re hot enough to have sex with.

You are worthy of guidance and mentorship, while not having those surrounding you be more concerned about your sexuality rather than your wellbeing. You deserve a workplace where you can advocate for yourself without your past mistakes being used against you as a form of gaslighting; and where everything that goes on with you isn’t discussed with everyone but you.

Most of all, you deserve to feel safe, and you deserve for people to advocate for you and take you seriously. Treading water in that type of environment can only last so long.  

It’s hard to believe that sexualization, harassment, obsession, and toxicity occurs in a workplace until it happens to you. One of the most toxic things you could do as a leader is minimize someone’s concerns or feelings just because you haven’t seen it or experienced it. Just because you haven’t seen it or understand it completely, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.